Saturday, August 28, 2010

Those small perspective moments

There's been a bit of conflict about lately.  One thing I can say is that how I respond these days is truly a far cry from my habitual set of responses of only a few years ago - and that's a good thing.

I'm not sure what meaning there is for me in this recent upswing of conflict scenarios, and I'm not sure that it's important to work it out either; but I am listening and as always, cleaning.  In each situation my peacemaking effort has been quite different, ranging from a simple apology for my part in the conflict, to scribing a treatise on group healing and freedom of speech.  The unifying theme though is my witnessing others' distress, while remaining relatively unruffled emotionally myself.  Where once I may have judged others badly for their seemingly uncontrolled outbursts, I find myself detached from such thoughts, and feel far less a hypocrite for that.  More whole, is what I'm saying.  Not better than others, no no, just different from how I used to be.

There has been some unpleasantness in an online group I frequent and feel special closeness to, because it's a great community of people.  A small issue has been blown up into a large one through clumsy communication and lack of attention to ensuring one's written words convey adequate respect while disagreement is taking place.  Censorship and active 'moderation' have all been effectively threatened.  Happily though, lots and lots of members just carry on with other topics of conversation as if there is no problem.  I love that this choosing to ignore the problem is happening at the same time as others (like me) are more actively addressing the issue.

And if a wake-up call were needed by some about the relative smallness of our quibbles, this happens:

I see a new post from a regular member not heard from for a week or so, just headed "read please and pray for me" and a link to a news article.  It's about a house fire.  Three people died.  One survived.  Our online friend just lost all her family in a terrible, sudden accident, and was badly injured herself, it seems.

Yet still, having one's feeling hurt by another's careless outburst, retaliating, people leaving groups in disgust, moderators threatening censorship.....these things remain important too.

It never ceases to amaze me just how much we create our worldview by what we choose to look at.

A little while back in an email conversation a friend wrote something about them really hating the way we are governed presently, to which I was poetically moved to reply "Hate the government?  Might as well hate the sky."  Not meaning to be flippant, just pointing out that they are two things that currently exist, and hatred is something we choose, and choose to ascribe, not something inescapable and beyond our influence.

It's too trite to say "see, there's someone with much bigger things going on so get over yourself" but really, let's just get a handle on the perspective.  When I am having some issue with being Mr Tubefeeding Guy, I just make sure my next feed gets dedicated to those who really can't eat - because they have no food.

Just sharing, is all.  And of course I'll help her in whatever way I can.  I'm sure the community is already taking great care of the family dog, whose name I do not know, but who survived too.

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