"Do or do not - there is no try."
- Yoda, Jedi Master.
However, you may recall a while back I mentioned having started a post that was looking like it might spiral out of proportion and become something else. Well, so it has come to pass, and besides, it has happened twice more since then. Yesterday my inspiration led me to begin an especially juicy piece but once again, I have hit a wall with it.
The wall is my own mind. So I'm discovering something about myself in this process. What's happening is that the subjects I am writng on are actually more involved than my top-of-mind and strength-of-fingers stamina allows for. They in fact require some planning and thoughtful execution. And to do that, I have to be able to see the beginning, middle and end. And I cannot, because of this mind intrusion.
AN ASIDE: How to write a play or other story.
Act 1: Put your hero up a tree.
Act 2: Throw rocks at him.
Act 3: Get him down again.
Mind is not the enemy; I love my mind and it does a fabulous job with expressing my thoughts/feelings/inspirations most of the time. It's just that something I'm seeking in the process of writing is an answer to a set of conundra bedevilling me at present, and it's not happening for me right now. Because I'm trying.
What's going on for me (and maybe the world as a whole, who knows?) right now is a sort of opinion tantra. Recently I came across a website called Brandkarma, a new social media Web 2.0 type thing that purports as its mission to have the 'wisdom of the crowd' determine the status of a given commercial brand in different areas like its environmental, fair trade, customer service practices etc - all voted, rated and commented on by users. They say their mission is "to help people help each other make better brand choices and encourage brand owners to be good to all their stakeholders". I joined so I could have a look, and saw opinion tantra in action. Thousands of people expressing themselves about Nokia, Kelloggs, Apple and so on.
In this context I'm using the word tantra in its sense of using the mundane to access the supra-mundane, employing the tools and experiences of our base senses and control of our mind to go beyond mind. In a New Age context tantra more usually refers to certain traditional sexual practices, but also alludes to the concept of 'doing something to death' or 'getting something out of your system' through complete immersion or indulgence. Thus, I am letting my analytical, intellectual, logic and systems-driven (ie judgement-forming and opinionated) self run rampant.
It's full moon too, did I mention that?
Usually plays merry havoc with my various systems and functions.
So these posts I've been working on, you won't see them, sorry. They're not going to be an appropriate format for here, they probably more properly belong in a book or compendium of longer essays. Or as compost, more usefully. Because they may never reach a state of completion or discovery.
For a while there I was giving myself a bit of a hard time for not paying much attention to my meditative and other personal spiritual practices the last couple of weeks, until I remembered that everything I do is a spiritual practice, including giving my mind full steam on these thorny philospohical issues.
Sometimes you just have to pour on the fuel until something blows.
Here's to a joyous explosion any minute now, so normal transmission can be resumed.